Movie Review: 'The Taint'

     There are some movies with massive budgets and huge stories and incredible special effects. There are movies with giant budgets but they just turn out horribly. Then there are the low budget movies, that accomplish a lot with a small(ish) budget, and put all the other big budget movies to shame. Then, at the other end of the spectrum, there are no-budget movies, that somehow accomplish a lot and prove to be a huge source of entertainment. That doesn't mean necessarily it's a good movie. Take 'Birdemic: Shock and Terror', for example. One of the worst movies ever conceived, yet it's so unbelievably bad, it makes for an experience that is nothing short of outright hilarity. 

     'The Taint' is another no-budget type of film, and from a technical standpoint, it's actually quite impressive, considering its lack of budget. The casual filmgoer will likely view this movie (or 10 seconds of it) and dismiss it as an utter piece of trash. Which, going strictly by the plot synopsis, you'll probably get the same opinion. Taken directly from the movie's official website: "The Taint is an independent horror-comedy with the most dick explosions ever caught on camera." And yes, you read that right.

Oh yes, there will be blood.

     Basically, the plot of indie filmmakers Dan Nelson and Drew Bolduc's 'The Taint' is (probably best) summed up like this. The water supply of a local town is tainted with a poison that causes all males that consume it to become filled with an unstoppable rageful hate against all women, and makes them want to pick up the nearest rock or large object, and smash their heads in. So in a nutshell, this tainted water makes them want to kill women. And much worse than that. If this sounds horrible to you, I have two things to say to you. 1, that's not even the worst act committed in this film. And B, this is not a movie you can take seriously. At all. The acting, direction, editing, story, characters, what have you, is so ridiculously over-the-top, and has a cheesy, campy, no-budget feel, you can't possibly take it seriously. Picture 'Birdemic' if it actually had (slightly) better dialogue and acting, only much, much more adult content. 

The lead character Phil, played by Drew Bolduc.

The violence in this movie is insane. And pretty impressive as well. There are better gory SFX in this movie than in a lot of so-called big budget horror films I've seen before. It's still cheesy looking, for sure, but it's done so well, you can't help but cringe in some spots. Also, the music is just amazing. One of the best soundtracks to a movie I've ever heard before. Seriously, even if whatever is happening onscreen looks crappy and lame, the music makes it seem like a badass horror comedy from the 1980s. I might be a sick person for enjoying this, but I thought it actually had a decent story, more story than I was even expecting for a movie like this. The acting, yes it's pretty awful, but it reminded me a lot of 'Napoleon Dynamite', especially the lead character, aviator glasses/blonde mullet wig sporting Phil O'Ginny, played by writer/director Drew Bolduc. Drew plays two different characters throughout the movie, and a lot of his line deliveries made me laugh hard. He had that goofy, half-awake voice and mannerisms that reminded me a lot of Napoleon. Only a much, MUCH more adult version.

This movie has some pretty crazy (and awesome) visuals.

I feel already as if I've given away too much. Go in expecting to be disgusted and repulsed (this is a Troma-released film, after all), and you might walk away surprised at just how entertaining and hilarious this movie is. Seriously, I've watched this movie twice today already, and I'm already in the mood to watch it again. I don't know if it's just that entertaining, or if I'm just really messed up in the head.

Either way, this is a movie that would be best viewed alongside any trashy/exploitation/grindhouse/Troma feature, and, along with some beers and group of friends, could make for a perfect movie-watching experience. Granted you have the stomach for it.

Evening with Bruce Campbell!

I'm currently standing in line in the freezing cold in front of the Royal Oak Music Theater, waiting patiently to get inside for 'An Evening with Bruce Campbell'. Bruce himself is here, he will be hosting a Q&A and then also will be introducing a showing of his cult classic 'Army of Darkness'. I am beyond excited to be able to attend this event tonight! I plan on asking questions about the upcoming Evil Dead "reboot" (I hate that word), and also about the recently announced news of Sam Raimi looking to pen an Evil Dead 4 script this summer. Will he give me some awesome news? Will he confirm a cameo in the upcoming "reboot"? Will his chin look as awesome as ever? All your questions will be answered shortly after! Stay tuned.

EVIL DEAD 4 HAPPENING SOON?!?!!

While at an event promoting his upcoming kid-friendly flick, 'Oz: The Great and Powerful', Sam Raimi spoke some words that would make hardcore Evil Dead fans (like myself) drop a load in their pants:

"I would love to make Evil Dead 4. My brother [Ivan] and I plan to work on the script this summer."

Does this mean we'll finally get to see the return of Ashley J. Williams, and most importantly another dose of the wonderful Bruce Campbell once again kicking deadite ass?? I thought the Evil Dead remake coming out next month was enough awesomeness, but this has totally put me into total NERD-SPAZ-FREAK OUT MODE.

"WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!!?!"

If Raimi returns to his horror roots yet again, and have Campbell on board to star, I'd probably start having convulsions of happiness. I'll keep you all updated once I find out additional information. Until then, I'm going to go jump around the living room in circles like a madman.

'The Cottage' DVD Review

     Today I am reviewing a 2008 British horror comedy called 'The Cottage'. I picked up the DVD yesterday at a bookstore in East Lansing, and was quite excited, because I'd heard some good things about this movie. It is billed as "a seriously twisted thrilling dark comedy", at least according to the DVD package. It was written and directed by Paul Andrew Williams, and stars Andy Serkis (otherwise known as Gollum from the LOTR movies), and Reece Shearsmith (the guy standing behind Martin Freeman in a short scene in 'Shaun of the Dead').

     Shearsmith and Serkis play two brothers named Peter and David, respectively. The movie opens up with them getting out of a car outside of a cottage, and next we see there's an unconscious girl's body in the trunk. The girl, Tracey (Jennifer Ellison), is the step-daughter of a club owner named Arnie, whom David is trying to get $100,000 from, in order to purchase his recently-deceased mum's house. His intentions were to hold Tracey captive until he got his money, only things don't go exactly as planned. David somehow convinced his brother Peter to help him out with this, as well as Tracey's step-brother Andrew (Steve O'Donnell). The first half of the movie is a darkly funny, heist-gone-wrong type of film. Then **SPOILERS** once Tracey breaks free and has Peter take her to an abandoned cottage down the road, that's when the characters, as well as the audience, starts to notice odd things here and there. Something weird is going on. We find out a psychotic, deformed, presumably cannibalistic farmer lives in that cottage, and he's not too happy to find random people wandering about his property.

Peter (Reece Shearsmith) gets a nasty surprise.

     I loved the tone all throughout the movie. It had that cheeky, clever sense of humor that is prominent in most British cinema, but it was rather dark, bloody, and gruesome in most parts. There's a lot of blood in this movie. Though it's not as gory or graphic as most horror movies nowadays, the fact that you grow to like some of the characters makes some of the deaths/kills rather shocking. Nothing wholly original, but there is some nice use of practical effects all throughout. Always nice to watch a horror movie with a lot of blood and no CGI.

     Tonally it reminded me quite a bit of 'Shaun of the Dead'. Serkis played the straight, tough guy of sorts, while Shearsmith's character, at first, just came across as a bit of a wuss. A funny scene in the beginning has Peter calling his wife to "check in", which he explains has nothing to do with his wife having any of sort of leash on him, he just does it so she knows where he is at certain times of the day. Later in the film, when Peter starts manning up and taking charge, you really start to root for him. David, although not seeming like a very good person, does have his heart in the right place, and is very likable, albeit rather hot-headed. I thought both Shearsmith and Serkis did an excellent job in this film. They really helped sell the characters with their performances and suck you into the story. Jennifer Ellison (who played Tracey) did a great job as well, playing a foul-mouthed tough girl/daddy's girl. She's really pissed off for being kidnapped and knocked unconscious. She calls her step-father and promises that Peter and David will pay for what they did. Again, that doesn't go as well as planned either. Most of the time during the movie I had no clue what was going to happen next, and that's the best part of it.

To be honest, I flat-out loved this movie. I love horror and British humor and this movie pulled them both off extremely well, though not as well as 'Shaun of the Dead', but I mean, that's a masterpiece in itself. The only thing stopping this from being a classic rather than cult classic, was I thought the main "monster" looked cheesy rather than scary or creepy. He reminded me a lot of Victor Crowley from the 'Hatchet' movies. Which isn't a bad thing at all. I just think had he looked a bit creepier it would have been perfect. Also, the ending totally caught me off guard, and made me laugh out loud. But just make sure if you see this movie (which you most definitely should) to wait and see what happens after the end credits roll.

8.5/10      Bloody, clever good time.

'I Saw The Devil' Review

     As I have told to many people before, Kim Ji-Woon's brutal 2011 masterpiece, titled 'I Saw The Devil', was my absolute favorite movie to come out that year. I'm a huge fan Korean revenge/thrillers, and this one is probably my favorite out of all of them. Probably even more so than Park Chan-wook's 'Oldboy'.

     The opening scene is rather bleak, and sets the tone for the rest of the story that follows. A pregnant woman named Joo-yun is sitting in her car with a flat tire. The setting is winter time. She's on the phone with her husband, and he assures her everything is going to be all right. Soo-hyun, her husband, is a secret service agent. He sings her a short song to calm her nerves, and then has to go. Shortly after, a man in a yellow school van comes up to her, to ask her if she needs help fixing her flat. After telling him no repeatedly, the man retreats back to his vehicle. Or so she thinks. This man turns out to be a horrific serial killer by the name of Kyung-chul. He viciously kills her and cuts her body into pieces, and scatters her body parts. They end up finding her remains, and Soo-hyun is left severely angered and heartbroken. He decides to take matters into his own hands and track down this vile person, and take vengeance. 

     Now, if this was an American-made movie, most likely the story would play out this way: husband tracks goes after guy, tortures/kills him, takes revenge, movie ends. However, this movie is more than just that. So much more. The question(s) presumably being asked throughout the movie are, what would you do if the person closest to you was brutally murdered? If you had the power to get revenge, what would you do? How far would you go? And, most important, what exactly is true vengeance? A point is made during the course of the film, that if Soo-hyun were to just kill Kyung-chul, it wouldn't change the fact that his wife and unborn child are both dead. What results is a cat-and-mouse chase, of sorts, with Soo-hyun on the verge of becoming a monster himself. This movie is so much more than a revenge flick. Every scene is practically drenched in this horrific tension. Every line of dialogue, every action, every movement, is coldly calculated, giving you this feeling that something awful is going to happen, at almost every turn. In fact, I've never seen a movie where the whole time I just had my hand close to my mouth, waiting to see what happens next.

     Kim Ji-woon is a masterful filmmaker, and the camerawork he displays in this film is just phenomenal. There's a scene that takes place inside of a taxi, that is just utterly intense and horrific. But that's not even the kicker. The camera spins around all throughout the cab as a vicious act takes place. Words don't really do it justice, but it has to be seen to be believed.

     The acting is top-notch. Choi Min-sik (who you might recognize as the lead role from 'Oldboy'), does a chillingly convincing job at portraying pure evil. His very presence is enough to give you the chills. Lee Byung-hun, who portrays Soo-hyun, does a great job as well. His character does horrible things throughout the story, but he still has that sense of humanity, so you can still relate to his character. One of the things to keep in mind while watching his performance, is, is it possible, while seeking true vengeance, to become a monster yourself in the process?

     If you have the stomach for it, this movie receives my highest of praises. There is some serious stomach-churning violence all throughout, brutal fight scenes, and the human emotions (or in some cases, lack there of) displayed only make everything all the more disturbing. But if you're in the mood for a seriously crazy revenge masterpiece, don't hesitate to check this out.

Introduction

                                    Hello all, the name is Dustin Hendrix, and this is my new blog. 

     As you probably know by now, I'm a movie fanatic. I probably own more movies and have seen more than practically anyone else I know. My love for movies and filmmaking is only matched by my love for writing. That's why I decided to start this blog, so I can watch movies you might not have heard of before, review them, and give my best input, so my love for film can be shared with others. My goal for this year is to write a new post at least once a week, for a whole year. Each post will either be a movie new to me, or one of my personal favorites. Feel free to read, comment, check out the movies I recommend, give me input, or even recommend me something to watch myself! Who knows, it might even end up on here.

Much thanks!